saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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