If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize