Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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