i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize