I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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