garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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