my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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