she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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