I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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