And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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