Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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