John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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