you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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