the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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