he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize