Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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