The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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