OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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