i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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