areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize