This girl is more easily done than said...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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