I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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