I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize