just tell him i said nine months
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize