My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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