we have pet lesbian snakes
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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