I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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