ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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