Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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