I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Operation Purity has been aborted
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize