My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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