My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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