Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
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Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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