Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize