Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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