At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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