obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize