well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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