Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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