i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ladies don't puke and tell
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize