last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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