If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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