fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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