just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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