So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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