I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
only you would photoshop your dick
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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