Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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