you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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