Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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