Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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